Unwanted

In my soul, there lies a love

which yearns for a home

which no longer has space for it.

– her

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Mouthful of Forevers

I like it best when my mind is

in a bloodshed battle with my heart.

I like it best when I’m a little broken,

with bruised knuckles and happy pills.

After all, I like poetry more than therapy.

Poems never seem to judge my “wrong” ways.

– her

The Truth Hurts

The truth is, despite being my dream girl, I rather you be happy with someone else than to be unhappy with me.

I hope someday you will lie awake at night and realise that once upon a time in your life, someone did love you with all her heart.

But for now, I will try to move on by finding you in other people.

I mean, that’s my last resort right?

– her

Maybe

Maybe we were too young

or maybe we were the plot an author couldn’t finish.

Maybe we were the beat an artist couldn’t get right

or maybe we were the painting an artist ended up restarting again.

Maybe we were just the poem that a poet couldn’t find the right words to end

and it’s up to us to create our ending.

– her

Four Seasons

We changed like the four seasons.

We started out like summer. There was so much we wanted to do but we had too little time on hand. Then came autumn, we explored and started picking apart pieces of each other. Little did we know, we began to wither as we opened up our deepest darkest secrets. Soon enough, we turned into winter. Our hearts were frozen and our souls were ice cold. We loved giving each other the cold shoulder. Right now, it feels like spring is the only season. April showers my days and floods my pillow ever since we fell apart.

Summer, when can we meet again?

– her

The voicemail

Hey there, it’s me. You probably do not want to hear from me but I promise that this is the last time. Hear me out, okay? You and me, one last time down the memory lane.

I’m deeply sorry how everything turned out in the end. How we can’t even keep a conversation past ‘How are you?’ and ‘I’m good.’ How we can’t even look each other in the eye. How everything seems to be hidden by some motive. How everything feels like heartbreak. But I never regret any of my time spent with you and I hope you do not regret our relationship or any of the midnight calls when we both can’t sleep.

I hope you know that even though we can’t properly look at each other anymore, I am still here for you. If you call, I will be on the other end of the phone. Always.

I know, this is long overdue but I just want to let you know that I still care about you. I can no longer do much (or do anything) but know that you have my blessings. Always.

Take care O.

– her

Balancing love

My biggest soft spot would have to be my love.

I can love with everything I have and I can love with my soul.

Sometimes it is too much for people and sometimes it is not quite enough.

For the past 18 years, finding the balance in love would be one of the hardest things I have had to deal with. But I have learnt how to love the person who means the world to me in this day to day life. I have learnt to love her flaws, her sins and her demons. I have learnt to love her freckles, her tummy and her curves. I have learnt to love the person she is and I have learnt that loving her is what keeps her going. Loving her makes her not tired of loving everyone else with everything she has.

When she loves herself, she can do anything.

– her

Outgrowth

I read a book that says that love only gets old if you let it.

I can’t remember when we stopped writing love letters and started crying under the sheets.

I can’t remember when we stopped watering our roots. I can’t remember when we started competing for the light. Whenever someone asks about you, I can only say we outgrew each other.

I believe that’s the truth.

Maybe we just got tired.

– her