We love what we need,
we love what makes us feel good,
we love what is convenient to us.
How is it fair to say that we love one person
when there are a couple thousand out there
who we would love more if we met them?
Isn’t love is a form of prejudice?
Based on circumstance and compatibility
and a result of a chance encounter?
In my soul, there lies a love
which yearns for a home
which no longer has space for it.
I wonder how many lives
I will have to live until
I find my way back to you.
I will be waiting there.
I like it best when my mind is
in a bloodshed battle with my heart.
I like it best when I’m a little broken,
with bruised knuckles and happy pills.
After all, I like poetry more than therapy.
Poems never seem to judge my “wrong” ways.
The truth is, despite being my dream girl, I rather you be happy with someone else than to be unhappy with me.
I hope someday you will lie awake at night and realise that once upon a time in your life, someone did love you with all her heart.
But for now, I will try to move on by finding you in other people.
I mean, that’s my last resort right?
How did you forgive me before I could forgive myself?
Maybe we were too young
or maybe we were the plot an author couldn’t finish.
Maybe we were the beat an artist couldn’t get right
or maybe we were the painting an artist ended up restarting again.
Maybe we were just the poem that a poet couldn’t find the right words to end
and it’s up to us to create our ending.
We changed like the four seasons.
We started out like summer. There was so much we wanted to do but we had too little time on hand. Then came autumn, we explored and started picking apart pieces of each other. Little did we know, we began to wither as we opened up our deepest darkest secrets. Soon enough, we turned into winter. Our hearts were frozen and our souls were ice cold. We loved giving each other the cold shoulder. Right now, it feels like spring is the only season. April showers my days and floods my pillow ever since we fell apart.
Summer, when can we meet again?
Hey there, it’s me. You probably do not want to hear from me but I promise that this is the last time. Hear me out, okay? You and me, one last time down the memory lane.
I’m deeply sorry how everything turned out in the end. How we can’t even keep a conversation past ‘How are you?’ and ‘I’m good.’ How we can’t even look each other in the eye. How everything seems to be hidden by some motive. How everything feels like heartbreak. But I never regret any of my time spent with you and I hope you do not regret our relationship or any of the midnight calls when we both can’t sleep.
I hope you know that even though we can’t properly look at each other anymore, I am still here for you. If you call, I will be on the other end of the phone. Always.
I know, this is long overdue but I just want to let you know that I still care about you. I can no longer do much (or do anything) but know that you have my blessings. Always.
Take care O.